Here are Some Rules & Facts of Taking a Vacation:

1. Actually go on the Vacation

So 25% of you reading this right now didn’t take ONE vacation day last year…The first rule? Actually go.

Leave your desk, your business, and take the time.  If you are self-employed…this means you too.  More than half of Americans don’t take all of the vacation time they are given, and if you’re a younger worker (18-24), about 45% of you only get a week or less of vacation a year (with 36% saying that they feel “judged” when you take it). Maybe that’s why you see almost half of workers secretly admitting to using some sick days as vacation. Take a vacation, and don’t apologize for it.

2. When on “Vacation” don’t spend all of your time Working

This defeats the point. Listen, I know your business is important…but lifehack a little, plan it out, delegate if you can, and trust your colleagues & employees so that you get the time. Work is only one part of your life, be sure to nurture the others too – it builds a happy home life and makes memories that last a lifetime. Spend the time with family and those you love having fun, and reconnecting again.

Saying that, most people are constantly connected to their phones – both socially and in business (and that gray area in between). It seems that you are so connected that 59% of you were even checking your email during major holidays like Christmas and Thanksgiving! Telling you to turn it off cold turkey might be unrealistic – so cut it down severely and show your priorities to those around you. Make checking your work as brief and spare as possible and get back to enjoying your time…I promise, you can post photos to Facebook when you get home. Taking a break from email not only builds a better vacation and connection with your family, but reduces your stress level overall …particularly when it happens over multiple days.

3. Fact: You’ll be a Better Worker

Burnout kills productivity. It’s the thing that makes you stare at your computer an hour before doing any work, or play around on social media when you should be doing work. One of the best ways of preventing burnout is to give your life variety and breaks. In a 2010 study, workers are 35% more productive after a vacation and even report liking their job better.

4. Fact: Vacations Can Literally Save your Life

We never know how much time we’ve got in this world…and what is it all for if you cause yourself to die unnecessarily early. The string of facts are sobering and unending, but here are some highlights. Men who don’t take a yearly vacation are 35% more likely to die of a heart attack….for women, this jumps to nearly 50%. In fact, not taking a vacation makes women three times more likely to struggle with depression. It’s not surprising that America has no mandatory vacation laws compared to other industrialized nations, and we are the largest consumers of antidepressant medications. Of course, this isn’t the only factor contributing to our use of these medications…but it certainly isn’t helping.

Truth is, if you want to be more productive, better in business, and improve the health and quality of your life, taking your annual vacation isn’t shirking your business – it’s actually showing you’re more responsible about the person you bring to it. Perform better, be healthier and take that vacation you’ve wanted (and likely needed for a long time now).

The post The Basic Rules of Taking a “Proper” Vacation. appeared first on Dr. Julie Gurner.

Four Tips to Reduce your Stress and Reduce the Load:

1. Get Everyone on the Same Page

You have your “work life” and your “home life” and often the two collide. To keep it unbelievably simple, one suggestion is to use a system like Google Calendar – have your assistant plug into it, use it yourself, and share your calendar with your family or spouse. That way, instead of your partner wondering what you are doing, making plans or having to ask you about future engagements…they can just peer in and take a look. It saves you both time in coordination, and allows everyone to be on the same page. There are wonderful apps that interface with Google Calendar that make it even better…but this can be a great place to start.

2. Manage your Inbox

One of the most common complaints I’ve heard from my peers is that they feel overwhelmed by the constant notifications and emails coming in. Often, the emails interrupting you are not even important, but you need to keep checking to know this! Using an email assistant can help you. Square One Mail, for example, not only allows you to sort your email into different categories that you name, but allows you to turn on/off selective push notifications – that means, if you are expecting a really important email from work, you can turn everything else off….so you don’t have to check your phone every 5 seconds and be bothered by constant beeping if it’s not important. It’s coming out soon, and it’s fantastic…put it on your radar.

3. Outsource and Delegate

Micromanaging will be the end of you. By micromanaging, you set yourself up for unnecessary overworking and for failure – you will never be able to control every aspect of every area. With micromanaging comes personal stress, resentment from others (also increasing your stress), a break in teamwork, and a constant feeling of being out of control of the outcome. It’s just not necessary.  While maybe you “can” do it, there is no reason you “should” do it. Look at your end lifestyle goal. If there are tasks you can outsource, don’t be hesitant – just be sure you are specific & clear in your instructions and let it go…if you need to delegate, trust your ability to have hired solid people. Loosen up the reigns a bit, and let people do the job  they’re paid for. If you’ve been holding back hiring people, ask yourself if it’s worth it….effective leadership is associated with lower levels of stress and many health benefits in recent studies.

4. Schedule “Off” Time – and Hold to it

Sure, there are going to be times you break your own rules, but here are some general things to always find time to schedule in:

You Time. Find one thing that makes you happy, and make time for it regularly…maybe it’s golf, shopping, exercising, or just soaking in a hot bath. I am a big fan of fitness – not only does it make you mentally sharper, it makes you a better boss. The Journal of Business Psychology finds that not only does working out make you less stressed, employees rate you as a better supervisor. You being in a better space benefits everyone.

Rest – Trust me, it really doesn’t matter who wins American Idol. If you sleep well, you’ll get up rested and experience less stress throughout the day. The Journal of Clinical Endocrinology and Metabolism found that those with the highest degree of sleep problems secreted the highest amount of cortisol (stress hormone). Have a bed time and keep those stress hormones at bay.

Schedule a Date – Once a week, schedule a date with your spouse/partner. Your home life can either support or drag down your productivity at work…but they are an essential part of your team. If your life at home is happy and healthy – your spouse is far more likely to be understanding, and supportive of what you do. ..and that is a huge stress reducer. Pay attention to them. Even the products of a healthy, happy relationship can benefit you. Numerous studies indicate that just having sex on a regular basis improves how you deal with stressful situations, leading you to feel less overwhelmed..even leading to increased growth in areas of the brain that regulate these hormones!

Schedule a Social Gathering – Maybe it’s just friends for drinks or dinner on a Saturday evening once a month… but keeping connected keeps people happy and less stressed out.

So I suppose it’s up to you. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by work, you have some options…all of which are intended to make your life better, happier, and improve your stress. The truth is, we make time for the things that are important to us…what will you be making time for in your life?

The post Overwhelmed by Work? 4 Steps to Radically Reduce your Stress. appeared first on Dr. Julie Gurner.

1. Procrastination

You have this great idea, you know it might work, and you do…nothing about it. Success happens from action. If you do nothing, you cannot expect that your life will ever change. Success doesn’t tap you on the shoulder, you have to chase it.

What to do: Make a list of small do-able steps you can do toward your goals and have at least one thing you do daily towards achieving them. Set your mind to doing that one thing everyday…usually people get so excited once they get in the groove, they want to do more. Action is a powerful thing…you watch yourself create things.

2. The Belief that Successful people are “Different”

Some believe there is something “special” about those that succeed or that they harbor a special element that you just don’t have.  If you believe there is something fundamentally different about you vs. successful people, you are setting yourself up for failure. Everyone starts somewhere…some from wealthy backgrounds, some from poverty, and others from middle class America. They are not special.

What to do: Read their stories. Pick up a book like “A Million Bucks by 30: How to Overcome a Crap Job, Stingy Parents, and a Useless Degree to Become a Millionaire Before (or After) Turning Thirty”  by Allan Cory.  Being well-off is far more about a plan and action than who you are. There a many millionaires who you’ve never heard of – you don’t have to be special, or famous. This kid did it…he’s not a tech god or a gifted financial man…and if he can do it, so can you.

3. Quitting when Obstacles Come

You are going to face obstacles…things you don’t know how to do, or just outright failures. It happens. If you just let that shut you down, you’ll walk away. Find a way around the walls.

What to do:  Look at your obstacles, and find a way to learn more to overcome them.  If you don’t know how to do something – go to your library, look it up on the internet, reach out to others, learn it for free on Coursera, Code Academy or Khan Academy. There is no reason for you to be stuck or walk away…unless you don’t really want it.

4. Getting Distracted

Social media is fantastic…it is, and it can be useful. However if you spend all your time on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, watching television, playing video games or texting…you will accomplish nothing.  The bottom line is that while it may be fun to watch “Shark Tank,” if you ever really want to be a shark, you have to turn off the television and those other things and do what you need to do.

What to do: It can be hard to stop once you’ve gotten in a pattern, so thankfully there is a lot of technology out there to help you. Turn your phone to silent so you’re not bothered by every single email/text. Use things like “Leech block” or other programs that will block you from using social media for periods of time, schedule in advance to use auto posts/tweets, and actually schedule some brief times to be on those sites that are after your most productive hours to get genuine interaction with others. It’s a start.

The post Four Quick ways you Sabotage yourself from Success, and How to Beat them. appeared first on Dr. Julie Gurner.

The transcript below is of one continuous conversation we had, broken into the topics we covered:

Dr. G  - I want to thank you so much for giving me a call today, I know you’re a really busy guy

Gary – No worries, thanks for the interview

On Putting Family First 

Dr. G – You talk a lot about putting your family first, and I really like the fact that you talk a lot about your priorities. I was wondering, you’re such a busy guy, how do you demonstrate and keep that a part of your life? How do you implement that in practice with your travel, speaking and schedule?

Gary- You know, I think it’s evolved? At first, for a long time I would have answered this question with “effort.” You know just making it a top priority. You know you’re making choices everyday – do I go to this conference, do I go to this meeting, how late to I stay out…blah, blah, blah…but what I think has evolved over the last 12 months has been what I call more “extreme planning” – more vacations and hard core don’t touch the weekends, and that kind of gives me the…not permission, but mental permission at least for myself to work harder during the weekdays and when I am working – so that the extremities of going all in, both on the hustle and on the family time has become a better model for me over the last 12 months.

On Keeping Himself at the Top of His Game

Dr. G – That’s great…and you do seem to be at the top of your game. I mean, you’re always energized, you’re always quick. A lot of my readers might want to know, is what do you do to maintain the positive attitude. Do you have good physical health? How do you keep yourself at the top of your game?

Gary – You know, that one’s interesting because I think that’s a gift more than the work I’m putting in.  You know, you can always dissect these things…I don’t have a great workout regime, my eating habits are solid but nothing spectacular or anything I would want someone reading this to follow.

I think what happens with me is maybe a bit of circumstance. I’m so driven by gratitude. I’m just very self-aware of how lucky I am. I was born in a Communist country, and I’m very much a Capitalist, so I ended up in the country that most celebrates entrepreneurship and business chops and to have that be my natural gift is a whole lot of serendipity and luck. For me the cold war, when I was born was so…I am very aware of how great my parents are, and unfortunately I lost three out of my four grandparents very early on and I was born right after so I haven’t faced a lot of illness or death in my life – which I am 37 right now so that’s remarkable. So I look at the big picture, and it’s just so obvious to me that things are so great that the little things like money or the ups and downs of stress, just don’t register as high for me I would say what seems to be the median average out there.

On LifeHacking Time Management, Work/Life, and Relationships

Dr. G – That’s a wonderful perspective. Are there ways that you “lifehack” that people may not know about you? I mean, you seem to cram so much into everyday. I remember reading that you encourage people to email you personally and that you respond to them. With the volume that you get, I’m not sure how you do it. So I’m wondering how you manage it…and if you ever run into problems like “always being on the phone,” or people telling you to put it down at some point. How do you really manage all of it?

Gary – A couple ways, I mean this is really going high level. First of all I married the right human being right? And I’m not kidding, I mean that’s really the answer. With a lot of communication up front in my relationship with really kind of quote unquote you knew what you were getting into right? She knew my ambition, she knew how I was wired and she’s also an amazing woman and with amazing empathy and understands how happy this makes me.

My hustle is really my entertainment. Answering people, engaging with people. Doing this… I’m going to work right now, right? And a lot of people who work the volume and intensity that I work – you know I just got back at midnight from CES right..and I got up at 7:00 this morning to spend time with my daughter..it’s a real schedule, but…doing this interview is more interesting to me than taking the 10 minutes or the 15 minutes or what the cab ride is and playing Angry Birds while a lot of people…or watching a video which a lot of people do  which is right – it’s their form of entertainment, it’s the way they wind down or find a moment of balance. For me, my work is so much my passion that it’s just more entertaining to me than that alternative, so answering people’s emails and helping putting out content and engaging….

I’m such an extreme extrovert..I feed so much off of human interaction that this whole social media thing…you know there’s a very obvious reason that I’ve been overindexed in this latest movement of the internet..it’s because it’s so people driven and I’m not sure if there is anything I like more than people.

On Beating to His Own Drummer & The Importance of Giving

Dr. G – Yeah, I think that’s wonderful. One of the things I noticed is that obviously you stand out because you are so interactive with your audience and other people and you’re not just selling yourself, you’re actually interacting with other people. I wonder because people tend to be so interactive in some ways, what people find so novel and rewarding about that with you…because I think that, you know, it seems to me that your style seems very novel in a time where we do interact but it seems more superficial. So what do you think people find so rewarding about your style of communication as opposed to other companies or other people?

Gary – I think I’m a very rare breed that is running a marathon in a sprinter’s world. And so, and I think you can understand where I’m going with this, so you know you’re right I don’t have a whole lot to sell. Yes, I’ll be a little bit aggressive when my new book comes out in the Fall, but when I’m “selling” for a month in the scheme of every 2 years… You know, I feel like the best way to get is to give, and I’m very willing to put in the work and have outrageous amounts of patience for a guy that comes across so frantic. So I think the answer is that I’m really am not trying to do anything other than give in precontext and build a relationship.

And listen, you know this interview is actually a great sum of the whole situation. I have plenty of PR people and agency handlers that are really not thrilled with me doing this. They feel like I’m overexposing and these blogs have no audience and nothing makes sense on paper, right..analytically or the way it’s been done. But for me, I always beat to my own drum. I, you know, want to think context. You know how this interview went down. I have no idea how many readers or…I’m assuming that I’m going to expect one person, the person that I’m interviewing with, everything else is gravy. So, You know most people just don’t want to put in the work and don’t have the patience and aren’t….You know, I get a lot of joy out of “giving” to my community, because I’m very flattered to have one.

On Hiring the Right People

Dr. G – You know, I noticed that you surround yourself with people that seem to be great people as well, and that was going to be the next thing I was going to ask you. People you hire at Vayner all seem like really great people. I mean, I talk to some of them online, and your assistant is fantastic and personable. They all seem to really love what they do, and I was wondering what characteristics you look for to build such a great team?

Gary – I’m always looking for EQ over IQ. I’m not so worried about your skill set because I feel that can be taught and honestly I’m looking to teach other kinds of skill sets. I’m looking for people skills, people that generally like other people, but very honestly it’s not what I’m looking for, it’s what I adjust to when I have it, and I have something different than what I do. Meaning, I…You know, in one interview or two interviews I have great intuition, but you’re not always right. It’s about once you’re living with them and engaging with them – weeding out the things that don’t work for you and embracing and growing what potential is there.

On Working with Family

Dr. G – That’s great, so you know you started working in your Dad’s store, now you and your brother started a media company. Can you tell me a little bit about what it’s like working with family. I mean are there any pros and cons, or advice you’d give to people who thought about bringing family into their business?

Gary – It’s very hard. It takes a couple of major things. It takes aggressive communication, and aggressive not in like yelling…I mean aggressive in like overdelivery of communication – lots of talking, lots of talking. The pro is you’re spending time with people you love. The amount of time that we spend at work is enormous, and so having that ability to spend time – even the serendipidous three minutes or the crossing each other in the hall or meeting..it’s amazing to spend it with the people that you love.

The cons are, it gets convoluded, you know, emotions get high. I have very different experiences. In one, I was kind of the apprentice and in one I’m the mentor, right, so I’ve been on both sides of it already at a young age. For me it’s been a challenge, but something I would never ever ever reconsider. I would do it all again and I’ve learned a lot about myself and the people that I love through it.

On Reaching Your Potential & What Holds People Back

Dr. G – I think it’s wonderful how you’ve come full circle in that way. One of the things I do as a Personal Development Consultant is help people reach their potential and I’m wondering when you look around, what’s the thing you notice holding talented people back? You’re around a lot of people who are quite talented who maybe are not going to reach or won’t reach the level that you do, so I’m wondering what you see is a major factor that seems to hold people back?

Gary –  I would say the overarching one, the one that’s blatantly in my face is self-esteem, lack thereof, or not having the proper parenting to embrace their strengths instead of their weaknesses. I’m completely, you know, enthralled with the idea of like people working on weaknesses vs enhancing their strengths..um, I’m a big, big big one of the latter. I think that you find..if you’re honest with yourself and you know what you’re good at, you go all in on that. I think that’s a much clearer path to happiness. And if you’re fortunate enough to have people that surround you that support the [indiscipherable] then you’ve got a real shot. A lot of people in the 1920s, 30s, 40s, 50s  who were amazing athletes who were talked out of it by their parents because that wasn’t a practical living because outside of a couple of superstars, you know, it was a tough kind of life. A decade later, when they were kids, athletes were making millions of dollars. So, you know, I feel like betting on your strengths is a big one, and the thing that I see people struggling with is they don’t have any confidence in themselves from the environment that embraced and enhanced that.

On Overcoming His Own Obstacles

Dr. G – If you were to look back on yourself, is there any…what was the biggest personal obstacle that you’ve had to overcome and what was your key to getting over it. Everyone kind of has their thing, and I didn’t know if there have been any big personal obstacles. I know you’ve spent time at one point, you know, you said you were spending 14 hours a day doing videos hoping for 30 views. I’m wondering what your biggest person obstacle was and how you got over that.

Gary – My biggest obstacle to me, was definitely the fact that I was a very poor student. You know from 6^th grade to my senior year in high school – it was tough thinking I was in school considered a “losing player” by my teachers, my peers, my parents, my peer’s parents. But, it’s funny, looking back on it, it’s shocking, how much I didn’t care. It’s funny, I gave a care but I didn’t, and it’s kind of been the M.O. of my life which is I cared so much about what every single person in the world thinks about me which is why I probably give so much…on the flip side I can live without caring about it at all. And so that contradiction is my strength and so that’s kind of how I look at the world. So, it was rough at the time, it was tough. I knew what I was doing, I was honing my business skills, but the rest of the world didn’t…except for my Mom which is why I pulled it off.

On His Newest Project

Dr. G – That’s great. You’ve mentioned that you have a book coming out in the Fall, do you want to talk a little bit about what that’s about and give any information on that?

Gary – It’s called “Jab, Jab, Jab, Jab Jab, Right Hook” There’s a lot of content out there so how do you dig through. I’m going to talk about the thesis, why it’s happening, how mobile’s changing it, why Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Pinterest, Instagram all these things are working while and why you have to figure out how to meet a need if we talk on them and why and how, then through content and microcontent do you achieve your business goals while giving back to the community that’s consuming it. So really just figuring out how to hack the world in a way where there’s so much content being produced, and so much noise on social, so you can break through.

Dr. G – Now you have a multi-book deal, and one of the things I was interested in is that I believe it was your first book, “Crush it,” that you actually took more royalties than initial payment…that was something that was pretty new also. So where do you think, I know that you went to Ida College..Where did a lot of your business acumen come from?

Gary – Definitely not from school. I mean, I was a businessman when I was 5 years old. It comes from my Dad’s DNA, my Grandfather…both my Grandfathers, who were pretty entrepreneurial as much as you could be in Russia without getting in trouble. So, I just think it’s pure genetics. It’s like asking Roger Federer where it came from. You know, you put in a lot of hours honing it. You know, since I’ve been a businessman since I was 5, in essence I’ve spent all the hours that I’ve put in the Wine business instead of studying in school paid off in the world that I’m actually going to live in, so I just think that’s kind of a DNA thing.

On Evolving Your Own Career

Dr. G – When you first entered the wine business, I’m sure you weren’t aware that you would really be focusing on social media as much as you have…what was that transition like because certainly you became known as kind of the “wine guy”..and then “the social media wine guy” and then “the social media guy.” So how has that transition been, and how did you position yourself in that way?

Gary – I think only by putting out content, right? I mean you become what you talk about and what you put out to the world so as my interests changed, the opportunities I saw changed… You know, I could have been the “ecommerce guy” we had the first ecommerce website for a liquor store, a local liquor store and used it as a way to communicate… I’ve always been innovating in marketing, whether it was SEO, whether it was email submissions, I was always doing something new. What was different about social was that as I was doing social, I was also using social to talk about what I was doing and that’s how the story evolved…and so it was a reality of what the marketplace has become. The fact that I could talk about it while I was also doing it evolved me from just being “the wine guy.”

Real Advice on How to Pursue Your Own Passion

Dr. G – Fantastic…Just to wrap it up, what advice would you give to somebody looking to be where you’re at or looking to pursue their own passion?

Gary – I think the biggest thing is to look in the mirror and not lie to yourself. I think we all want to be something in our minds, but we may not have the talent for it…and I mean that…and it’s kind of a cold pill to swallow and may not be the most “rah rah” piece of advice, but the reality is that there’s a lot of truth to that and so I think if you’re honest with yourself and hone in on what you are good at and recognize that we live in a world where being good at something very narrow has the potential to be very successful, which is not the way the world was prior to this internet revolution. I think you embrace those two big things and start talking about or build a business around those things are you have a real shot at being successful, and so I think those are things to think about. Also recognize that you can get to anybody in today’s world. The ability to tweet at anybody and just ask for 5 minutes or 10 minutes…a lot of people won’t, but a lot of people will and I think people should take advantage of that and recognize that people impact your life. The people that quote unquote rule the world, realizing that you can get to them now is much easier than ever before is a little bit of a secret notion that I think people should take advantage of.

Dr. G – Well thank you so much for your time, I really appreciate it. I know you had a long flight and we look forward to seeing you own the Jets oneday and maybe bring the team to greater heights. 

[both laugh]

The post The Gary Vaynerchuk Interview: Successful LifeHacking appeared first on Dr. Julie Gurner.

While improving your career and propelling yourself forward is important, many end up feeling empty or isolated in the work they do because there is little connection to the real world for some. Money loses meaning when all it does is buy you “stuff” or give you bragging rights. It gets old – not just to you, but to anyone you likely come in contact with. Life can feel empty. A successful businessperson is a dime a dozen…but a successful person is a rare find.

How do you leverage your social capital and the voice you have? Do you give back, do you bring awareness to causes you care about, do you help others – or are you simply in the business of yourself.

Believe it or not, the moment your success begins to touch others, is the moment you truly have influence.

Want to be a power player? Be the person who gives something back.

The post What are you doing with your Social Capital? appeared first on Dr. Julie Gurner.

If you are one of those people who has committed to fitness this year – I don’t want to see you be the person dropping out. Be the one I see every day – here’s what to remember.

“Rome wasn’t Built in a Day”

There are no fast fitness fixes. There are no pills, no diets, and no workouts that will have you looking like bikini pro tomorrow. None. Also, just losing weight doesn’t give you muscle tone. The common saying is that it takes “it takes 4 weeks for you to notice your body changing…and 12 weeks for the rest of the world to notice. Give it 12 weeks.” Hang in.

Find Motivation Everywhere

Put motivation everywhere because temptation will be everywhere. Have your phone & computer screen saver be motivational, put quotes or pictures on your refrigerator, and make it a mission. Find the thing that motivates you personally – is it looking good this summer in a bikini, getting healthier for your kids, etc..it will be different for everyone but put it front and center.

See it Like A Business Goal

Like success in anything else – a great body doesn’t come from mediocre effort. You will have to do work when you don’t feel like it, you will have to do it at times when it is inconvenient, and you will have to do it when you want to be doing other things…this is true for work, and true for fitness. Expect it. Put it in your calendar, and make it your most important meeting of the day.

Check your Thinking

Fitness is not “All or Nothing” – it’s consistency.  I don’t go to the gym everyday. I’m there 5 times a week. That means, for me, I get two days off. I make my two days off my busiest work days. If you miss a day, don’t just quit – get back on track.

Find a Routine that Fits your Lifestyle

Do you like being outdoors? You don’t have to be in a gym for every workout you do…there are so many options. You can cycle, start running, or  workout at home with Tae Bo videos for your cardio. You can even download programs to help you get started and motivate you! There is a great Couch-to-5K app that can get you running in no time…just be sure to clear it with your doctor first.

Make it Fun

I have an ipod that I love – and my gym time is truly “me time.”  Every person in the world can use a little self-time, right? I can play ridiculous music if I want to (if you only knew my playlist), and use the time to concentrate on doing something wonderful for myself and my family. I have a network of great women that are into fitness, and many who are fitness pros who are just so inspirational to chat with in my off time. We support each other, complain about “leg day,” and talk about new exercises that are working for us – even swapping tips and recipes. It’s truly fun! It gives me a reason to buy new shoes, download music, and it’s something I do for myself.

Have Accountability

When I first started working out, I had a “gym buddy.” I met her at the gym at 5am every weekday when we were on our predoctoral internship together. She was a former trainer from Miami who was built like a truck, and I was a skinny girl who just needed some accountability (thanks Kari!). We listened to “hair bands,” I learned a lot, and I was there every morning. Who are you accountable to? Who will know when you’ve skipped your day or didn’t follow through? At first, it’s great to have that person if you can do it and people are making it easier than ever. An example? Alex Lawrence, an entrepreneur, startup, and tech guy, is helping a lot of people through his program of public accountability in getting more fit. Read about it and join!

Don’t Be Intimidated

We all start somewhere. If you feel lost in the gym, hire a trainer for a few weeks and get a routine. If you can’t afford that quite yet, have a friend that’s a gym buff show you a few things. Ask questions. No one thinks less of you for not knowing everything…no one is born with a barbell in their hands. At some point, we’ve all been there, and most people are more than willing to share what they know if you ask.

With Diet, as with Exercise: Take it Step by Step

You don’t have to change your diet, exercise 5 days a week, and do it all tomorrow. Take it day by day. There’s a saying that “great abs are made in the kitchen” – and it’s absolutely true. What you eat and drink will play a big role in how fast you see your progress. Maybe start simple by just brown bagging your lunch everyday instead of buying it, and only eating things you make yourself instead of prepackaged foods? Start slow. To look at one woman’s philosophy that doesn’t overcomplicate it, check out “Chicken Tuna” – her eating plan is pretty simple, and her philosophy is very straight forward. She tells it like it is. Things like Weight Watchers get you on a pattern that very few can follow as a lifestyle, and I don’t encourage them. However, before you make any shifts to your diet, be sure you run it by your doctor.

The reason more people aren’t fit, is that it’s work. It is hard some days, and easier on others. If success in anything were easy, then everyone would be successful. The most rewarding and difficult part of getting healthy is that there are no shortcuts. While in wealth you may hit the lottery, have a wealthy uncle who passes, or get noticed by just the right person – in health and exercise – there are no such possibilities. As a society, we want them…I mean, who has the time? People resort to diet pills, surgeries and all sorts of measures to try to do what they can to make it easier. The truth is, you make the time for the things that are important to you – spending time with family, going out on a date with your spouse or even putting in a hour at the gym.

Your life is a compilation of the choices you make…what choices are you making today?

The post How to Turn your Body into Something Awesome. appeared first on Dr. Julie Gurner.

This is not a post filled with unrealistic expectations…but with real strategies that can help keep your home life and self on-track while you navigate the many phases of your business growth and the challenges they bring.

Keeping Your Home Life in Five Simple Strategies

1. Get Your Personal Team On Board…Too.

Your startup will BE your life for a bit. Most expect this, but if you have a significant other or a family, be sure to have a chat with them so they’re on board. You think they must know this already? They don’t. This just isn’t “your” venture, it will touch everyone in your life.

What ruins relationships is not the fact that most startups consume so much of your time up front, it’s the different expectations that partners have. They might believe that you’ll be home at 5pm every night or that you’ll stop checking emails the moment you walk in the door. Nip that conflict up front, be honest about what life is going to be like, and find ways to connect and support each other. Getting everyone on board makes life immeasurably easier.

2. Don’t Compromise Your Health.

The combination of sleep deprivation, lack of exercise, eating poorly, and travel can be exhausting – get ahead of it and don’t fall into the trap. I know many founders who gain extraordinary weight and have health issues in their 30s that usually afflict people far older. There are a lot of things you have to compromise on as you are on this road – but don’t make it your health. Maintaining it will be far easier than trying to regain it later, if that’s even possible. Consider it an essential investment for both yourself and any family you wish to have.

The benefits of caring for yourself are well documented. Exercise makes you a better leader, it reduces stress, it improves your mood (see here), and it makes/keeps you mentally sharper. If you don’t believe me, let the scientific studies speak for themselves…and we could cite equal studies if not more for the benefits of sleep and nutrition. You’ll have more energy, be more productive and do your work better.

3. Loosen the Reigns.

If you hire people to do a job, hire solid people and let them do their job. Sounds simple, right? You have responsibilities, and doing the job of others is just going to compound what you already have on your plate. It’s overwhelming and unnecessary. You’ll be amazed at how well people can function (and often how much better they’ll perform) when you’re not intruding.

4. Trim your Networks, and Stay Connected.

Make a decision about the people it’s important to stay in regular contact with. You will have to trim your your social networking time, calls, and texts but don’t abandon them entirely. Adjust your expectations and you reap the benefit of their support. For example, call your sibling for a ten minute chat or take your significant other out for a couple of hours every now and again. You might not be able to chat for an hour as your once did or spend an entire evening out, but having supports in your life is very important, and you’ll need them for the ups and downs you face. Particularly, the power of your  significant other can be massive – to build you up (and sometimes shoulder the bulk of the domestic tasks) or to make your life difficult. Take the time. They’ll deserve it for putting up with you.

5. Be Present.

Time with family and loved ones might not be able to happen as often as you might like, but when it does, make it count. When you are having dinner with your significant other, put down your phone. When you are at a child’s concert – don’t be checking your email. When you dedicate time to family or take your significant other on a date, be able to be present. Look your child in the eyes when they speak to you. You might not think it’s offensive to be looking at your phone every 5 minutes, but it feels distancing to people around you and it makes them feel unimportant.

In startups, the personal aspect in the process can easily be ignored. There are literally thousands of books, blogs and advice columns that can help steer you in the right direction in your business – don’t let the forgotten element be the one that drags you down.

The post Your Personal Life During Your Startup. appeared first on Dr. Julie Gurner.

The Stress of Being a Pro Athlete in Football

1. Going from Hero to Zero in 40 Seconds

Not only do these guys often get the love and worship of the fans when they win, but they can quickly be demonized over their failures. Most of us can have our ups and downs at work and in life privately – but part of being well known is often having a spotlight held to your failures. You have reporters asking you the same questions about it (over and over again), see it on the local news, trending on twitter, and may even read about it online. People sending you tweets about how you suck isn’t the best feeling in the world…especially when you are already aware of how you may have messed up.

2. Everyone Tells you that You’re Invincible

You start to believe it. You’ve likely been told this ever since you were playing in college. You are a guy who trains heavy, hits other people, and walks off the field week after week. You’re a modern gladiator to the outside world – people give you meals, drinks and surround you everywhere you go telling you how wonderful and powerful you are. So why wouldn’t you believe that you could drive a car home after a few drinks? Using a car service, even if free, seems unnecessary. You begin to believe the hype that you are invincible, and that things will usually go your way – and if not, you’ll be able to handle it. What happens when you can’t? Well, that’s what the world sees, often too late.

3. Everyone Wants Something From You

Think about what it might be like if you won the lottery and everyone knew your name. People start to befriend you, date you or hang out with you for many reasons. You’re not always sure who your friends are, and you’re hesitant to let others into your circle once you find out. The truth of it, is that these guys are often hounded constantly by many in their life, and even finding a “real” date or relationship can be difficult. They are often targeted by women because of what they’ve got, whose only goal is to extort them. I am a woman, and I hate saying that in print…but it’s a sad reality.

4. Pressure to Perform

These guys seem invincible, but don’t be fooled into thinking that many don’t wake up hurting the next day like they’ve been hit by a truck. Others are injured – not badly enough to be out of the game, but enough to be nagging. Some go back and forth how much of their aches and pains to disclose, and when they do get significant injuries, feel enormous pressure to get back in the game. Their livelihood depends on it, and they don’t want to be replaced. If there is something out there that they think may help them heal faster, feel less pain, perform better, or get back on the field – it’s a tempting lure. It’s common knowledge that many will simply “shake off” what is likely a minor concussion, so they can still be in the game. Over time, this can have tragic consequences in their mood, thinking and functioning overall. We don’t hear about players once they leave the spotlight. I think it would be an enlightening venture if we did.

5. The Profile of a Great Player

When you’re sitting on the sidelines watching a game, what do you think makes a player great? Depending on the position, a good player is often incredibly driven, instinctive, willing to put their body out there (risk-taking) and can’t think of possible consequences or they’d never make a motion on the field. For some players, these traits don’t always translate as well off the field, and they don’t have the “switch” you need to make home or private life easy. The same traits that make a player great, can cause a lot of difficulties away from the game.

So while I think it is convenient for many to portray those who play football as aggressive arrogant animals, this is usually not the case. It’s the traits that fans demand that often creates a person more likely to engage in these actions. Do they get the help they need to navigate their life more effectively? Usually not. When having personal struggles, some players will seek out assistance off the field, privately, even when they do have resources within organizations – but this is not the majority. My hope is that more find the assistance they might need to overcome life’s stressors before they contribute to events that can’t be reversed.

The post Tragedy and Football: Why Are Football Players Out of Control? appeared first on Dr. Julie Gurner.

Want to know how to make goals really happen for the new year? If you look at recent information it states , “Recent neuroscience research shows the brain works in a protective way, resistant to change. Therefore, any goals that require substantial behavioral change, or thinking-pattern change, will automatically be resisted. “

What does this mean? It means our brain likes to be comfortable, and likes things that are “known,” so it usually resists huge leaps and goes back to what it knows when it feels overwhelmed. Have you noticed this? It happens to people all the time – they set these huge goals, and then they just give up, flop on the couch and do what they normally do thinking there is no hope. There is hope! You just have to work around your own brain barriers.  Here is what those experts above have to say, and how you can use it.

Three Real Techniques to Make Your Goals Successful

1. Have a Goal that Aligns with your Values.

You’ll be more motivated to pursue a goal if it’s consistent with who you are. Two examples:

A.  You might want to “get rich,” but don’t make your goal being a Wall Street guy if you’re a hippy from the 60s. This will not be motivating for you, and will set you up for failure.

B. You might want to stop smoking, and you’re a great Mom…so maybe align that with wanting to live longer for your children. Link it to something you truly care about and is consistent with you before the goal ever starts. This is motivating.

There are many ways to get there…make it something that is consistent to who you are and what you value. How to tell if it is consistent with who you are? Pretend you are describing your goal to your closest friends…would they say it “sounds like you” or would it sound “off?”

2. Set Really Small Goals that Lead up to Bigger Ones.

For example, you shouldn’t set a goal like “I want to make a million dollars by the end of the year,” and have nothing else to say. It leaves you paralyzed – or in a dream world thinking this will magically happen. By breaking it down, you actually increase your likelihood of making a million…let me show you how…

You should set the goal of “I want to make XXX amount of dollars extra this month” – have a plan to do it – and set a goal daily to work toward it. Scaling your plans to get to that million is the best approach, not expecting success to just fall upon you in one big lump and having no idea really how it will happen…or depend on “luck.”

An example of how to make big goals happen? Look at weight loss: Saying “I want to lose 100lbs by the end of the year” seems much more overwhelming than saying “I want to lose 3 pounds this week, and I’m going to do it by cutting out soda, walking a mile a day, and no more eating fast food!” This person breaks it down, has a plan, and gives themselves a doable goal that rewards quickly and leads to further achievement. You can do this with any goal you have.

3. Have a Goal that Rewards You, Sooner than Later.

Our brains are fickle things…we like positive reinforcement. Making small goals give us confidence, and we’re more likely to take on bigger things. So, losing that 2 pounds this week makes you more confident you can reach your overall goal and keeps you working. When you see yourself as achieving, you feel motivated, and like you can take on the world.

Using this strategy makes you feel great along the way, rather than always feeling like you are falling short when on the way to the “big goal” because you’re not there yet. Confidence propels you further, and increases your likelihood of being successful…whether we’re talking about weight loss or making money.If you need help mapping your goals, getting accountability, and achieving them, you know who to call to get it done.

Success is something you do, not just something you dream about. So get out there, make some goals and do it right.

The post Why Most Goal-Setting Techniques are Crap, and How to do it Right. appeared first on Dr. Julie Gurner.

If only I didn’t have so much debt…

If only I didn’t have a family to support…

If only I didn’t weigh so much…

If only I had more time…

Excuses. All of them.

No matter what your goals, don’t talk yourself out of them by giving excuses. People overcome all the time. There are Olympic level athletes competing with one leg who aren’t giving excuses…they are working, pushing, and seeing what they’re capable of.

Whatever your circumstances – don’t stay stuck – pull yourself out, work hard and kick some tail…and if you need help, you know who to call. Be committed. Get it done. How long will you put off having the life you want?

The post Why your “If only…” is your Excuse. appeared first on Dr. Julie Gurner.